Questerly

I’m seizing my destiny,
Paying the price for me,
Choosing the best to be
By doing the quest that we

All count as reality -
From east to so westerly,
Lost years that have tested me:
There's home! At last - set me free.

Ring

Ring O ring, so wireless,
The test-tube spilled its virus:
Atishoo, atishoo,
We all fall down.

The sheep are in TV-land
Boozing from the cup:
Atishoo, atishoo,
We all fucked up.

Where

I was raised in a border town called Curiosity,
Where the people all seemed kind of spurious to me,
So I left to learn from books at the old monastery
Where the monks taught me science and arts and much of mystery.

And now I live in a house called Liberty.
There is a garden out the back
Where stands an apple tree.
The rent I pay is high - but our land is free.

The windows stop the rain
But let the light come through,
Which shows the features on my face
And all the things I do,
But not the creatures in those places
Where these last thoughts grew.

The Book of Lives

Lives unfold like a book, this should be no surprise,
We’ve all got shit up our arses and tears in our eyes;
Yes, we’re nothing but bags of pulsating offal,
For the world starts and ends as a rotting meat-brothel.

The first level of liars are those persons whose claims
Show they speak from their hearts and not out of their brains;
The worst kind of traitor’s the lover who pleads
That great trees of trust must branch out from good seeds.

Old mirrors reflect my face misted and faded,
But not what’s behind – a soul twisted and jaded;
Once more, eyes seek hope in that last line of verse:
Forever, for never, for better or worse.

Just like you, I’ve tried to believe life’s what you make it,
Unlike you, to feel this I fucking well fake it;
I have tried so damn hard to find those golden doors,
All I’ve reached is this endpoint: we’re all pitiful whores.

Our world is a Hell with a thin coat of Heaven,
And the number which follows six-one-six is black-seven;
You may read all these words if they give you no trouble,
But you’ll soon forget them if they burst your sweet bubble.

Like cakes, words have layers – of meaning, not fruit:
You should always judge cards by both number and suit;
The secret lies here, climax-lush, just like sex:
The last line lays it clear : X X X X X X

The Chalice of Choice

‘Existence is wondrous, the chalice of choice
Has made gods out of beasts, so let’s all shout rejoice’!
Believe this and life’s brutal trap’s got you caught,
Because science shows choices come well before thought.

Categorization as winner or loser
Is unlinked to your belief you are a chooser;
Events unfold patterns of physical laws -
The illusion of free will is theirs, and all yours.

Our awareness of making up our mind’s a tale -
A story we tell ourselves, succeed or fail;
From galaxies down to the last superstring
We are all clockwork fools ‘cause fate’s doing its thing.

Twelve

By the 12th step of recovery
My true life came to this:
Twelve friends betrayed me
Eleven homes had stayed me
Ten drugs filled spaces
Nine masks made faces
Eight fighters threw me
Seven lovers knew me
Six head-sick siblings
…Five Secret Things…
Four punished crimes
Three degrees
Two mind grenades
And a-part-soul in a body

Parallel

look forward in awe
not backward in anger,
make that double-take on our dual doppelganger,
and with both tongues immortalise
and with each hand dichotomise
the thought, the word, the glittering prize

a duel of twins, a dangerous game,
though ripped apart we yet remain
with twisted lies to split our sin
like lost stars locked in fatal spin

the schisms in this two-tone voice
are echoes of our our schizoid choice:
to take the one-way parallel
which beams to heaven or to hell
- the same old place, though we can't tell

Craving

Steel resistance
Real persistent
Still insistent I can change
But inconsistent
Thoughts can instance
Relapsed acts beyond my range

Urges pester
Hurt dreams fester
Irksome yesterdays remain
Yet I still guess the
Thoughts so messed are
Grave cravings for absent stain

Beguiling

beguiling
she styling
he smiling
we whiling

Dark Matter

the moon's staring down from the sky
like a silvery eye
which can see what we think
the art of the stars may be making its mark
the science of our souls may be subject to this
like the dark in our blinks where what matters is bliss

Seeking Superman

I'm a simple man but a complex creature
I've got a lot of hard-earned truths to teach ya
But I'll have to turn and run to reach ya
For I've got a wide but central feature
I talk like a doctor but smell like a preacher
Because I seek the Übermensch of Nietzsche

What the...?

Is the world circling round
Or is the spinning in my head?
Are these words some distant sound
Or are they something I just said?

Will someone tell me where this is
And how the hell we got to here?
Does my whacked mind make that fizz
And do I call it love or fear?

Look, just show me the way out
Or is the exit plain to see?
This strange story may yet end
But it makes no sense to me.

Testosterone Blues

the sexual urge is a torturous curse
don't make your life better, makes everything worse
I'll be doing my thing and enjoying my day
when it springs up from nowhere and won't go away

like, I walk down the street just content in myself
when along come's a bod oozing sexual stealth
and though I know without doubt that their charms are a farce
my head still turns round to check out their arse

love's not about grinding
I don't want to cum
for I have become a testosterone bum
so if you don't like lusting
and use drugs to un-screw
then you should get your pollux castrated too

Rush

You woke me quick, now life's outstanding
Everything I see's astounding
Hearts keeps pounding, mind's exciting
All my inner selves ceased fighting
Eardrums pop, silence is rapture
Demons of the dark stopped biting
Move so fast, my words must capture
This, so scrawl them as I'm pacing
Chase them round as they keep racing
Infinity-eternity is facing
Me - space-time's gone boundless
Don't stop now the air is soundless
Bodies melting, bursting, falling
Mind is flux and nothing's stalling
Coming down - it sucks - appalling!
Start again, the dream-man's calling...

Gemini Rant

Our kind are one twelth
Of all people in health
Pollux or Castor
May answer our door

'There's no reason nor rhyme'
Claims the primal refrain
Yet to twins rhyme feels right
While reason wants to fight

'The future is bright'
Screams an exploding star
'But dark comes when its over'
Roars the last supernova

What should you believe?
That soft heart on your sleeve?
That strong voice from our memes?
That command from your genes?

Well it matters not
One ineffable jot
We're all laden with heft
This one fact can't be effed.

What's that tale on your back?
Why do you carry that sack?
Where's the coin that was tossed?
Will it land? Is it lost?

Tales have so many sides
Every person decides
What the point is to this
What it is that they miss

Hear these lines from my lips
Turn them down like bad trips
Feel the power twixt my hips
And thank Chaos for zips

Was that journey a dream?
Was your laughter a scream?
Did your smile throw light
On despair or delight?

Make me yours, let me be
Pull me close, set me free
Take my hand, do not touch
It's too much, not enough

Pull them down, hold it high
Tell the truth, it's a lie
You must go, but please stay
We can't work - let us play

Monkey on the Back

There's a monkey hanging heavy round your neck and down your back
I wish it wasn't there, nor a metaphor for smack
If you could start your life from scratch and do it all again
There'd be a monkey on your back and I'd be sat here with this pen

If the monkey is a metaphor, why does it matter more?
Oh, your father was a bastard and your mother was a whore
Well we all have holes inside our heads and rhymes within our voice
So don't torment dead souls for all those times which were your choice

If the monkey still likes living on your back, then ask it this:
'Are you here to help me some way, or just to take the piss?'
If it smiles when it answers, then get ready for a thrill:
It's about to bite you on the face, and squeeze you tighter still

Dementico

Dementico was flames in snow
He lived down town near Pimlico
Where every night in clubs below
He watched the strange and ancient show
Of flux and fucks and fights and flow
And dawn's the time at which he'd go

And so one night Dementico
Got dressed up tight from head to toe
To hunt within the Club Limbo
For news of stunts both fast and slow
And he strode limb-wise akimbo
Not caring should he stop or go

[verses deleted, reader cheated]

These verses end at this blunt point
Dementico destroyed the joint
Because my rhyming hurt him so
He does not like its worldly glow
'Cause words bestow upon his tricks
Our cage of logic, light and bricks.

Vile

There's less of him
The rest of him
and all that was the best of him
has left here
and gone west with vim
the heft, it finally got to him

In interim
Don't sing to him
He's churning out some stinking hymn
And all he's really thinking is
that change is not the thing for him

So down the drain
Goes dishwater
The all and nought that stands for her
And now the joke's the thought of her
From mother down to grand-daughter

Is violence so much a sin?
It does what it says on the tin
Not crying to some violin
Not trying to be vile in
A way which violated him.

The Shadoverse

The mystery of history
Is nothing but mythology
Like culture and society
It all adds up to lies to me

And why, you see, I feel this way
Has got to do with deep dismay
At humans in these fading days
Forgetting all their yesterdays

That's why I do not sleep in bed
But chase round mental ghosts instead
Who play their games inside my head
Who'll never leave until I'm dead

But these shadows are not my curse
My real foes are even worse
They're coming for me in a hearse
Because I hissed their names in verse

Questions From the Dark

What dark designs does destiny deign dearly to deliver?
Do all who hide in my shadow still crawl along and shiver?
What deep desires could make your eyes cry blood and body quiver?
Could it involve a trickster come to sell you down the river?

Think hard: do all you count as friends play truthfully and fairly?
Or do shards of unjust hate attack you in the face full squarely?
What keeps your inner fire alive, alight - do you yet dare me?
Relax: these days I invoke chaos magic oh so rarely...

Fool's Chase

I watch you pass, a breeze-blown cloud
My longing speaks your form out loud
My eyes glare inward, deep and down
Feelings fester, features frown

lives are sparks in the fires of time
life's a fleeting laboured mime
one day all we've done and said
will be smouldering embers in my lost head

Once a face appeared to me and cried:
"I've never robbed and I've never lied" -
Like a finger pointing at the moon
Out of reach and gone too soon

Isolation is a sociable disease
Laugh, scream, tease, smile, choke, say 'cheese'
These lines depict no killing joke
The death wish lingers in the smoke

My words fall round like loaded dice
And run for holes like frightened mice
My gaze goes wide like super-sight
Draining all your body's light

But even black holes fade and die
You've got to land if you can't reach the sky
All roads lead downward outside the fold
It's the end of the chase for the poor fool's gold.

DMT and Me

Sacred.
No words.

Through

this boy don't care no more
lets cold winds howl through broken door
through hollow head across the hall
where sunbeams dance upon the wall
and through his eyes he lets them fall

this boy don't feel no more
soul's shipwrecked on some frozen shore
and slow tears sail through closing eyes
and drench the ground and rip the skies
because all your words of love were lies

Sleeper

Time motors on,the cycle is over,
Celebrate life and bathe in the light;
Never look round and never return to
Those moments which melt in the heat of the night.

Look to the sky and gaze through the distance,
Breathe in the air like milk in your throat;
Run down the path with the strongest resistance,
Wear your love loose like a camouflage coat.

Hold your head high when you are a mourner,
Spit in the faces of those 'friends' of mine;
Watch for their malice in every dark corner,
Pierce the long gloom and make the world shine.

Swim to the shore when the river gets deeper,
Turn from the screams of those drowning in gold;
And dwell on the signs that lie in this sleeper:
The mind motors on though the body grows cold.

Time's Up

Through silent rooms glide long-gone faces
Mumbling ghosts in fading places
Promises turned to decay
Time's blood drips my life away.

Child lost in a mystic maze
Cries out in the thickening haze
Dreams of magic paths to Earth
A time to die, to find rebirth.

World floats round in empty space
Longs to vanish without trace
Not much more this mind can take
Time stops still - something must break.