Just realized why I never look too far ahead
Why the future seems a dark place in my mind
It’s because if I look ahead I will see that what I only fear now
Is actually waiting for me like a predator set to pounce
And that’s not another weight I would like to carry round with me just yet
So I’m hiding in the moment, like a sailor lost at sea
Just realized why I never look too far back
Why the past seems a dead place in my mind
It’s because if I look back I will see what I’ve taken so long to forget
That those things that happened were real and really lessened me
And that’s not another wound I would like to fester or heal right now
So I’m hiding in the moment, like a slave that got set free
Hiya Russell, your best piece for a while... or rather, my own personal favourite piece for a while. And I do catch all your stuff as it comes through to me via email.
ReplyDeleteThe future of an ex-drug addict, especially an IV user, is something that clinics and aftercare clean-up places completely disregard. I think they a) fail to realize how many continue using because of the damage already done; b) don't take into consideration that for many who picked up diseases along the way the future is kinda written and has an extra dash of hopelessness poured in the mix. Then sobriety becomes a very scary thing because we can see what's coming and we're waiting for it.
I'm not saying your verse is about that... but it made me think of that.
Hope you're well Russell. So-so over here...
X
Shane, I already posted a reply, but it did't turn up here for some reason, and I don't recall what I said now, that was several personality changes ago. The 'Just Realized' verse, like most of the stuff I write, reflects my bipolar experience, so means more than one thing, but you are on one of its tracks with your intepretation. Be nice to talk directly to you about a few things - do you use Skype? Got to go, the weather's changing in here though its sunny outside haha, just thought I would take advantage of a break in the clouds to try to reply again again again
ReplyDeleteHiya Russell, sorry for the delay in replying. No I don't use Skype. I have tried but because I use my mobile as a modem most software I ave to download is either too big, or the files get corrupted in transmission. So it's just email for now (and telephone). Though if I ever do manage to pick up a Skype habit you'll be the first number on my list.
ReplyDelete(I was in my other account and couldn't be bothered logging out, hence no avatar this time. But it is really me. Code Word(s): "When did heroin become a fucking sport!" Haha)
See you in the moment, I hide in that existential snapshot too - I'll be the one with the blurred hat
ReplyDeleteand you know what comes when you get sick of hiding...
ReplyDeleteI hide because the world is sick, not because I am sick of hiding ... bring it on
ReplyDeleteI get the message - so just do it. What have you got to lose but some pointless dream?
ReplyDeletetossed like a cork in a stormy sea
ReplyDeletepulled closer toward - inexorably
a vortex of anguish, despair, misery
the here has past,it's now not now
the future's what you could allow
or else you wait with furrowed brow
do nothing till the future's now...
or then
Nothing will be, is or was worth doing
ReplyDeleteForever and ever Amen!
ReplyDeleteBlue & Anonymous - I like your style, we overlap
ReplyDeleteSo when it's time to close the book
ReplyDeleteunfocused eyes will steal a look
at everything that's been and gone,
battles lost and battles won.
And who to call for things gone bad?
Who to blame for us so sad?
And who heeded to urging voices?
Who made some erroneous choices?
Ghosts smile back and point a finger
We walked with you, but did not linger.
The eyes now focus, the cracked glass see
So many facets of...
just me.
freedom - well what does it matter
ReplyDeleteI exist on the the terms that I can;
my past is now part of my future,
the present is well out of hand.
Heart or soul? What will burn?
ASHES TO ASHES DUST TO DUST
ReplyDeleteTIME TO GAMBLE
SHIT OR BUST