Already know

Death hangs ahead of me
Like some grisly crow
Waiting for the end of the show
Stating what we all already know

Death stinks of rotten flesh
Cries like a strangled bird
Never going to say a single word
Stating what we all already know

Living the Lie

Life’s a gas
She shows you shots of heaven
So you know how well gods shine
Then she kicks you up the arse
And tells you your love is a crime
That your life amounts to nothing but a foolish fucking farce

Life’s a grass
It grows so green and shiny
That we think that it’s our path
When secretly it’s slimy
And it’s dark and full of wrath
And doesn’t care if we are pushed to cry or pulled to fucking laugh

Life’s a mess
It shows the flowers blooming
But hides the shit behind the Sun
And hopes the blaze will gloom the glow
When the pain has always been the main scene of the show
So be clear it fucking knows there’s only one way this can go

Life’s a cheat
He tells his story palms up like he never knew the price
And slips across the sad parts
Like a skater rides the ice
And while the great scenes hug the spotlight’s find and seek
The lie is that you’ll hear some fucking truthful voices speak

Not Relevant

This don't work
Such and so
I won't lurk
I'll just go.

No more hope
So be kind
Erase tape
Full rewind

No Title

Black holes
Anti-matter
Dark thoughts
Blood splatter

Broken homes
Nothing happens
Dark days
Mirror blackens

Burnt bones
Change in matter
Dark world
Gone flatter

Always

How many letters make up that old word 'hell'?
Can you count them as they whirl round in that place beyond what's gone?
Can you feel that sense of falling, going to fall, or having fell?
So you want to know the answer? Then don't count - its always one.

So we're left with just this question: which letter produces 'hell'?
Did you get to it already, has it rung your inner bell?
For those who cannot count or do not care to question why,
Hell - singular or plural - always was and will be: I.


That was the final verse, so what the fuck is happening here?
You've over-shot the end, the stop, passed into empty space.
So for some light relief I've made this one-liner appear:
The zero met the eight and said 'Give me your belt, my dear'.

Just Realized

Just realized why I never look too far ahead
Why the future seems a dark place in my mind
It’s because if I look ahead I will see that what I only fear now
Is actually waiting for me like a predator set to pounce
And that’s not another weight I would like to carry round with me just yet
So I’m hiding in the moment, like a sailor lost at sea

Just realized why I never look too far back
Why the past seems a dead place in my mind
It’s because if I look back I will see what I’ve taken so long to forget
That those things that happened were real and really lessened me
And that’s not another wound I would like to fester or heal right now
So I’m hiding in the moment, like a slave that got set free

Fuck it all

Fate, the ugly bitch and bastard,
Hides behind the cloak of destiny,
While privately in glee from garmonbozia
Boasts their hands did alter things once free.

Free will, the hoped-for god of intellectuals;
Causality, the god of science and its sons -
Be still, these gods are false like all those worshipped shitbags,
Quality was sacrificed for this joke of mine:
A broken sign deliberately bereft of rhyme.

This or That or Which

And this is the mouth
Which told the lie
That burst from the ground
And scorched the sky

So killing the child
Which crawled out of the womb
That got fucked up the arse
By the man in the moon

And this is the face
Which forced the smile
That extended the walk
An additional mile

And here is the pen
Which wrote the tale
That the man in the maze
Had strayed from the trail

And this is the end
Which we knew was ahead
That stops all the words
Spewing out of my head

Bipolar Blues

The middle is a mystery
It's somewhere I've not been
It's not at either end of me
It's some place in-between.

The middle is a default zone
It's where most people are
It's where the soul feels most at home
From here, it's very far.

The Story

unfolding

Alien Lament

Orwell's losing, Huxley's winning,
Folk consume 'till their heads are spinning,
Our 'Brave New World' trumps '1984',
The twenty-first century is a chrono-whore.

Accumulation of maximum money
Ranks much higher than what's good or funny,
Right or wrong's now not so absolute,
So if you pay your way you can shit or shoot.

The dollar-sign is our species symbol,
From our genetic code to our frenetic sins,
While our other values wouldn't fill a thimble
And just protect us from any financial pins.

So on your First Contact with us on Earth,
Aliens, listen up, for what it's worth:
Whatever wisdom you kindly offer
Will become another coin in the human coffer,
So get your noble visit over fast as poss
Then teleport like hell, or make First Loss.

The Secret

The Secret is much more than just a thing that you can’t say
It’s a burden and a freedom, and a jagged broken link
The Secret is so special that it can’t be washed away
It’s a critical deception, so much more than you might think.

The Secret can be kept by more than kings, liars and fools
You don’t need a plan or goal, or any special kind of tools
It eats into your soul, and from the centre to the edge
The Secret is an everlasting fire-burning pledge.

But when you have the Secret and life lets you fall in love
The person who you love may want to share the Secret too
But you know from deep inside and from those values high above
That you must shield them at all costs from what this wry Secret can do.

Falling

A fractal fate, an open gate,
A falling wall, a lifted weight,
A dawn portrait of quality,
An undrawn map of destiny.

Shooting stars aren't meant to fall,
They sing of light and zoom and call,
They only die inside their dreams
Of people doomed by hapless schemes.

A portal hums and opens up,
A mortal swears on golden cup,
Now I can through full-moonery
Uncloak a deeper you and me.

Yeah yeah yeah

I could write top pop songs
That go "boom boom boom boom
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah"
Say things like: "My bedroom's
For just you only girl
And when I call your phone
You make me hot and moan
I'll buy you lots of bling
And you can kiss my ring".

But I hate most pop songs
Don't want big hits or gongs
Or tussles with King Kongs
So all those dumb cliches
"Are yours babe" - so I says
That those who crave this pap
Their brains will turn to crap
And if all rights turn wrongs
I still won't write pop songs.

Mandala

Make me one with everything
Asked the Buddhist of the vendor,
Nothingness is what we sing
Dreamt the bird so small and tender,
All is one and one is all,
Liminal we stand or fall
And so nirvana render.

Double Agent

By accepting the validity of both love and anger
I am patently at peace with my dark doppelganger
You have to know that you’re dealing with a double agent
To find the good in this, to reach the ultimate reagent.

It’s not what I’m called that should define what I am
Instead it’s what I am that should define what I’m called
It’s not where you’ve been that should determine who you are
It’s where you’re going next which lets emerge your inner R.

By swapping parallel worlds with our regular reality
I know that we will reach a final chemical singularity
So when I find myself entangled in a strange strong resistance
I always think of Einstein’s words: its spooky action at a distance.

Means End

Does the end justify the means?
Or do the means justify the end?
Well, the means don't justify the means,
And the end's just justified, it seems.

Does the word justify the thought?
Or does the thought justify the word?
Well: thought can fly solo if its hurled
While the word’s justified by unjust world.

Cloud

Kept secrets of the past, denied
That was me, my brains were fried;
Faces merge within the crowd
That one’s me, up on the cloud.

Your face rings bells, were you my lover?
Or is that something I’ll discover?
This place feels strange, like déjà vu
Or is that stuff I’ve yet to do?

I don’t hide things, but they do get lost,
I don’t buy rings, but still pay the cost;
This place is mine, you’ll find me here
Within walls of love built from bricks of fear.

Whenever I’m backed into a corner
I always lie, it’s the way I mourn; their
Faces blur, smudge into cloud,
I stand here still, these words endowed.

Secrets of the past are well worth losing,
Makes it look like our actions were on-the-spot choosing,
When echoes of the future are what we’re holding,
When what’s going on is really fate unfolding.

The Journey

Drive your ego like a Harley:
Sit far back, hold grips real gnarly,
Zoom on like Billy and Charlie -
Thank you Shulgins and Bob Marley.

Egos don't like meeting death,
They'll up the anti and spit out an F -
When you let the ego make your choices
It will shout down all your inner voices.

So grab the reins or handle-bars,
Then over-take those front-drive cars -
And don't forget this contemplation:
It's the journey that counts, not the destination.

The Truth

Lies become reality:
She wears them like a frock,
So that her prime creation
Cannot tell cunt from cock.

Believe your propaganda?
It's meant for them not you!
For someone had to do it:
So I would do it too.

The Tweet

Twitter's damn loquacious
So very cyberspacious
But utterly ungracious
Back-turning so to face us

Recovering

With every relapse I'm uncovering
That discovering is recovering
Even though, to the government,
I am breaking legal covenant.

(I grew up with no mnemonics,
escaped death via economics,
then pumped up by ergonomics
I set sail to pure ergodics)

Questerly

I’m seizing my destiny,
Paying the price for me,
Choosing the best to be
By doing the quest that we

All count as reality -
From east to so westerly,
Lost years that have tested me:
There's home! At last - set me free.

Ring

Ring O ring, so wireless,
The test-tube spilled its virus:
Atishoo, atishoo,
We all fall down.

The sheep are in TV-land
Boozing from the cup:
Atishoo, atishoo,
We all fucked up.

Where

I was raised in a border town called Curiosity,
Where the people all seemed kind of spurious to me,
So I left to learn from books at the old monastery
Where the monks taught me science and arts and much of mystery.

And now I live in a house called Liberty.
There is a garden out the back
Where stands an apple tree.
The rent I pay is high - but our land is free.

The windows stop the rain
But let the light come through,
Which shows the features on my face
And all the things I do,
But not the creatures in those places
Where these last thoughts grew.

The Book of Lives

Lives unfold like a book, this should be no surprise,
We’ve all got shit up our arses and tears in our eyes;
Yes, we’re nothing but bags of pulsating offal,
For the world starts and ends as a rotting meat-brothel.

The first level of liars are those persons whose claims
Show they speak from their hearts and not out of their brains;
The worst kind of traitor’s the lover who pleads
That great trees of trust must branch out from good seeds.

Old mirrors reflect my face misted and faded,
But not what’s behind – a soul twisted and jaded;
Once more, eyes seek hope in that last line of verse:
Forever, for never, for better or worse.

Just like you, I’ve tried to believe life’s what you make it,
Unlike you, to feel this I fucking well fake it;
I have tried so damn hard to find those golden doors,
All I’ve reached is this endpoint: we’re all pitiful whores.

Our world is a Hell with a thin coat of Heaven,
And the number which follows six-one-six is black-seven;
You may read all these words if they give you no trouble,
But you’ll soon forget them if they burst your sweet bubble.

Like cakes, words have layers – of meaning, not fruit:
You should always judge cards by both number and suit;
The secret lies here, climax-lush, just like sex:
The last line lays it clear : X X X X X X

The Chalice of Choice

‘Existence is wondrous, the chalice of choice
Has made gods out of beasts, so let’s all shout rejoice’!
Believe this and life’s brutal trap’s got you caught,
Because science shows choices come well before thought.

Categorization as winner or loser
Is unlinked to your belief you are a chooser;
Events unfold patterns of physical laws -
The illusion of free will is theirs, and all yours.

Our awareness of making up our mind’s a tale -
A story we tell ourselves, succeed or fail;
From galaxies down to the last superstring
We are all clockwork fools ‘cause fate’s doing its thing.

Twelve

By the 12th step of recovery
My true life came to this:
Twelve friends betrayed me
Eleven homes had stayed me
Ten drugs filled spaces
Nine masks made faces
Eight fighters threw me
Seven lovers knew me
Six head-sick siblings
…Five Secret Things…
Four punished crimes
Three degrees
Two mind grenades
And a-part-soul in a body

Parallel

look forward in awe
not backward in anger,
make that double-take on our dual doppelganger,
and with both tongues immortalise
and with each hand dichotomise
the thought, the word, the glittering prize

a duel of twins, a dangerous game,
though ripped apart we yet remain
with twisted lies to split our sin
like lost stars locked in fatal spin

the schisms in this two-tone voice
are echoes of our our schizoid choice:
to take the one-way parallel
which beams to heaven or to hell
- the same old place, though we can't tell

Craving

Steel resistance
Real persistent
Still insistent I can change
But inconsistent
Thoughts can instance
Relapsed acts beyond my range

Urges pester
Hurt dreams fester
Irksome yesterdays remain
Yet I still guess the
Thoughts so messed are
Grave cravings for absent stain

Beguiling

beguiling
she styling
he smiling
we whiling

Dark Matter

the moon's staring down from the sky
like a silvery eye
which can see what we think
the art of the stars may be making its mark
the science of our souls may be subject to this
like the dark in our blinks where what matters is bliss

Seeking Superman

I'm a simple man but a complex creature
I've got a lot of hard-earned truths to teach ya
But I'll have to turn and run to reach ya
For I've got a wide but central feature
I talk like a doctor but smell like a preacher
Because I seek the Übermensch of Nietzsche

What the...?

Is the world circling round
Or is the spinning in my head?
Are these words some distant sound
Or are they something I just said?

Will someone tell me where this is
And how the hell we got to here?
Does my whacked mind make that fizz
And do I call it love or fear?

Look, just show me the way out
Or is the exit plain to see?
This strange story may yet end
But it makes no sense to me.

Testosterone Blues

the sexual urge is a torturous curse
don't make your life better, makes everything worse
I'll be doing my thing and enjoying my day
when it springs up from nowhere and won't go away

like, I walk down the street just content in myself
when along come's a bod oozing sexual stealth
and though I know without doubt that their charms are a farce
my head still turns round to check out their arse

love's not about grinding
I don't want to cum
for I have become a testosterone bum
so if you don't like lusting
and use drugs to un-screw
then you should get your pollux castrated too

Rush

You woke me quick, now life's outstanding
Everything I see's astounding
Hearts keeps pounding, mind's exciting
All my inner selves ceased fighting
Eardrums pop, silence is rapture
Demons of the dark stopped biting
Move so fast, my words must capture
This, so scrawl them as I'm pacing
Chase them round as they keep racing
Infinity-eternity is facing
Me - space-time's gone boundless
Don't stop now the air is soundless
Bodies melting, bursting, falling
Mind is flux and nothing's stalling
Coming down - it sucks - appalling!
Start again, the dream-man's calling...

Gemini Rant

Our kind are one twelth
Of all people in health
Pollux or Castor
May answer our door

'There's no reason nor rhyme'
Claims the primal refrain
Yet to twins rhyme feels right
While reason wants to fight

'The future is bright'
Screams an exploding star
'But dark comes when its over'
Roars the last supernova

What should you believe?
That soft heart on your sleeve?
That strong voice from our memes?
That command from your genes?

Well it matters not
One ineffable jot
We're all laden with heft
This one fact can't be effed.

What's that tale on your back?
Why do you carry that sack?
Where's the coin that was tossed?
Will it land? Is it lost?

Tales have so many sides
Every person decides
What the point is to this
What it is that they miss

Hear these lines from my lips
Turn them down like bad trips
Feel the power twixt my hips
And thank Chaos for zips

Was that journey a dream?
Was your laughter a scream?
Did your smile throw light
On despair or delight?

Make me yours, let me be
Pull me close, set me free
Take my hand, do not touch
It's too much, not enough

Pull them down, hold it high
Tell the truth, it's a lie
You must go, but please stay
We can't work - let us play

Monkey on the Back

There's a monkey hanging heavy round your neck and down your back
I wish it wasn't there, nor a metaphor for smack
If you could start your life from scratch and do it all again
There'd be a monkey on your back and I'd be sat here with this pen

If the monkey is a metaphor, why does it matter more?
Oh, your father was a bastard and your mother was a whore
Well we all have holes inside our heads and rhymes within our voice
So don't torment dead souls for all those times which were your choice

If the monkey still likes living on your back, then ask it this:
'Are you here to help me some way, or just to take the piss?'
If it smiles when it answers, then get ready for a thrill:
It's about to bite you on the face, and squeeze you tighter still

Dementico

Dementico was flames in snow
He lived down town near Pimlico
Where every night in clubs below
He watched the strange and ancient show
Of flux and fucks and fights and flow
And dawn's the time at which he'd go

And so one night Dementico
Got dressed up tight from head to toe
To hunt within the Club Limbo
For news of stunts both fast and slow
And he strode limb-wise akimbo
Not caring should he stop or go

[verses deleted, reader cheated]

These verses end at this blunt point
Dementico destroyed the joint
Because my rhyming hurt him so
He does not like its worldly glow
'Cause words bestow upon his tricks
Our cage of logic, light and bricks.

Vile

There's less of him
The rest of him
and all that was the best of him
has left here
and gone west with vim
the heft, it finally got to him

In interim
Don't sing to him
He's churning out some stinking hymn
And all he's really thinking is
that change is not the thing for him

So down the drain
Goes dishwater
The all and nought that stands for her
And now the joke's the thought of her
From mother down to grand-daughter

Is violence so much a sin?
It does what it says on the tin
Not crying to some violin
Not trying to be vile in
A way which violated him.

The Shadoverse

The mystery of history
Is nothing but mythology
Like culture and society
It all adds up to lies to me

And why, you see, I feel this way
Has got to do with deep dismay
At humans in these fading days
Forgetting all their yesterdays

That's why I do not sleep in bed
But chase round mental ghosts instead
Who play their games inside my head
Who'll never leave until I'm dead

But these shadows are not my curse
My real foes are even worse
They're coming for me in a hearse
Because I hissed their names in verse

Questions From the Dark

What dark designs does destiny deign dearly to deliver?
Do all who hide in my shadow still crawl along and shiver?
What deep desires could make your eyes cry blood and body quiver?
Could it involve a trickster come to sell you down the river?

Think hard: do all you count as friends play truthfully and fairly?
Or do shards of unjust hate attack you in the face full squarely?
What keeps your inner fire alive, alight - do you yet dare me?
Relax: these days I invoke chaos magic oh so rarely...